Tori Amos Gets Him Really Pumped

Because of his appearances on The Daily Show, general sense of humor about himself, and seemingly genuine intelligence, Mick Foley has always been my favorite professional wrestler; better even than The Rock and Hulk Hogan.  Now, my days of watching the WWF are long behind me, but I can still remember the childhood excitement.  I am not ashamed to admit that I used to watch professional wrestling.

Frankly, I don't understand the people who look down on its viewers.  They complain that it is fake and not a real sport; so what, so are horror movies.  Everyone knows that wrestling is fake, that doesn't stop people from enjoying it.  Everyone know that in wrestling, the performers aren't really competing, just like everyone knows that in horror movies, no one really gets killed.  The bottom line is that it is just entertainment.

Anyway, today I read an article written by Mick Foley himself about the impact that Tori Amos's song "Winter" had on him.  The article is well written, emotional, and impactful and I would encourage everyone to read it.

Schadenfruede

I am really into the show Pawn Stars on the History Channel.  For those of you who haven't seen it, it is basically   The Antiques Roadshow with more shaved heads, tattoos, morbid obesity.  People bring in their stuff, it is appraised and sometimes a deal is reached.  Maybe it is the German in me, but my favorite part of both shows is when someone brings in something that he thinks is incredibly valuable and then an expert tells the owner that because of something that he did, it is completely worthless.  The look on their faces is more valuable than anything anyone has ever brought into the shop.

My job would be great if it weren't for the clients

Does anyone out there know a way to keep my clients from lying to me?  I want to know how to get the truth out of these people because it will make my job and their bill much better.  When I ask you questions, I need the whole answer, not what you want me to believe.  As long as you are paying, I am not going to try any harder if I like you than if I don't. The less time I have to spend sorting out what is true from what you are telling me, the smaller your bill will be.  Also, If I am aware of some unfavorable evidence I can prepare for it and think of contradictory facts.  If the first time I see the evidence is at a hearing when it is offered as an exhibit by opposing counsel, then there is almost nothing I can do.

When I ask questions, I am asking what the facts are, not what you think the other side knows.  Similarly, when I ask questions I want to know all the facts, not just the facts you think are important.  I am the attorney; let me decide what is important.

Clients, for the sake of your wallet, do not ask me to do things that you can do yourself.  For example, if we will need bank records for your case, go to the bank and ask for them yourself instead of having me subpoena them. Similarly, do not ask me to speak with people who have confidentiality requirements (Doctors, social workers, etc) without first giving those people information releases.

The best show ... in the world

For several years my favorite show on television has been Top Gear.  Although you wouldn't know it from the show's level of awareness in the US, the self described "poky motoring show" on BBC2 is the most watched show in the world.  Each episode is seen by approximately 350 million people around the world.  It has spawned versions in Germany, Russia, Australia, and soon America.  I download every episode and can watch them over and over.  

But, despite all the happiness and joy the show has given me, despite all the people who have I shown it too, and  despite all the time I have spent watching it, I cannot, for the life of me, remember where I first saw it.  I have thought about this for a while and I have ruled-out a few places.  I know that no person showed it to me and I know that I did not see it on TV.  I am pretty sure that I found it linked to a different random video on youtube.  Random chance can bring great rewards and great misery; I can't believe how many hours of entertainment I may have missed out on if not for luck.

Career Questions

I have never been able to get enthusiastic about almost any topic for long periods of time.  This has always been a part of my personality, but I didn't really notice it until college.  When I started at Hopkins, I was a biology major.  But, by the end of my freshman year, I wanted to take too many different courses to stay on the biology track.  Lots of people change majors in college, sure.  But, I didn't switch because I liked something more.  I switched because I liked everything more.  I couldn't make a choice, so I picked a major that allowed me to take the widest variety of classes.  

This pattern continued after college when I went to law school.  Like college, I studied intensely the first year, but then lost focus and enthusiasm on the subject matter.  I added a dual MBA degree to my law program and greatly enjoyed marketing.  

Now, I don't know what to do with my life.  I am not that happy in my work as an attorney and I am thinking about looking for a job in market research.  If I get one, will it really make me happy or will I just end up looking for something else in a few more years?  Working as an attorney, I would likely make much more money in the long-run than working in market research. But, I can't keep changing jobs the rest of my life and expect to get anywhere. And, if I am never going to enjoy what I do for a long period of time, then why not just stay in a job that pays better?  I want to establish a career for myself, but I also want to enjoy what I do.  I have always loved cars and I don't think I will ever get tired of driving.  Maybe I should just become a trucker.

Why isn't CSPAN always this good?

I am really hoping that Stephen Colbert isn't the last comic that Congress will call to testify.  

World's Worst Phone

There are several companies that I don't like for various reasons: bad customer service, unreasonably high prices, defective products.  But, in my mind, worse than all others is LG.  I have to preface this story by stating that everything in it is true; if I were making this up, I would be much less frustrated with where I work now.  

My old phone, the world's worst phone, was an LG.  At first I really liked the phone; it had a qwerty keyboard - this was a couple years ago - and was much easier to type on than my phone before it.  What I later found out was that while the phone may have done many things well, it completely failed to display any symbol when I had a voice-mail.  Most of the time this wasn't a big deal.  Because of caller ID, I could see who had called and guess whether he or she had left a message.  Of course, there were some calls where the caller ID said "unknown," but these were invariably telemarketers who I simply ignored.  

In the spring of 2009, my last year of law school and business school, I was excited for the future.  I had received multiple job offers and was feeling lucky to have employment in such an uncertain economy.  Despite my success in my job search, I was still applying for careers that I thought would be more exciting or highly paid.  One of the places I applied to was the National Clandestine Service division of the CIA.  

At that time, the CIA was undergoing a large recruitment drive at business schools and the University of Iowa was one place they held an event.    At the presentation two people with fake names gave the highlights of what potential new employees would be doing: after training, new agents would do at least a year long tour in a hostile environment before being reassigned to a safer place.  I should explain.  The vast majority of what the CIA does is fairly boring; most of their workers are economists and engineers who rarely leave metropolitan Washington DC.  National Clandestine Service operatives are the actual spies; they are stationed overseas and given a cover job at an embassy or a front-business.  Clandestine Services agents do not have diplomatic cover.  One such agent was Valerie Plame, the CIA agent outed by the Bush Administration, another is Robert Baer, who was the basis for George Clooney's character in Syriana.  This is real James Bond type stuff.  What little boy's dream wasn't to be a secret agent?  Even though my future career as an attorney had a much smaller risk of death or torture, I logged on to the CIA's website and applied without hesitation.  

A couple weeks later my phone rang.  The caller ID said "unknown" so I ignored the called having been conditioned to believe that I was avoiding a telemarketer.  Over the next two weeks this happened three more times.  Over the following two weeks I had not missed any calls from anyone who would have left a voice-mail and as a result had not checked my voices messages for over a month.  Finally, I missed a call from my parents and checked my voice mail.  I had five new messages.  One was from my dad. 

The other four all had the exact same message.  A female voice said, "Mr. Slavik, I am calling about the application that you filled out online.  We would like to speak with you.  Please call 202 -***-**** and ask for Karen."  The message did not say who it was from and did not give "Karen's" last name. 

After hearing the messages I was thrilled and furious.  I was thrilled because I knew 202 was a Washington DC area code and the CIA was the only job that I applied to in that area.  I was angry because it was now several weeks after the messages were left and my damn phone never told me I had a message.  I quickly called the number the message gave.  

I woman picked up the phone and said, "recruiting."  I explained how I had received a message asking me to call the number and ask for Karen.  I was then transfered to a answering machine with a message that did not identify who the machine belonged to.  I gave my name, phone number, and explained why it took me so long to call.

I am not a religious person, but I prayed that "Karen" would call back.  She never did.  Now I can only curse LG and wonder at what might have been. 

Question for Creationists

If the earth is only 7000 years old, why can we see the light from stars that are millions of light-years away?

California Pot Initiative

I read today that beer brewers and distributers are going to start spending money in the California voter initiative to legalize marijuana and I wonder how long it will be until Pharmaceutical makers start spending too.  I think that this is something that all people who are completely dead set against marijuana legalization should think about.  The beer makers aren't against legalized pot because they buy into the gateway drug scare tactics, they are against legalization because they know that pot is a substitute for alcohol; they know that pot plays the same role in society with the same benefits and the same drawbacks as alcohol.  

Just like alcohol, if you abuse pot, you will suffer a lot negative consequences.  But if you use either in appropriate doses rarely will anything bad happen.  Human beings have a need to escape: we do it with drugs, we do it with alcohol, we do it with food, we do it with shopping.  Even if all the drugs in the world disappeared, people would still spin around in circles until they fell down dizzy.  It is high time that the US government and the American people look at drugs rationally and let the facts determine what is and isn't a threat.

Porsche Part III

By far the best car that I drove at the Porsche event was the new special edition Boxster Spyder.  Essentially, it is a lighter harder version of the traditional Boxster S.  When you first get into the Boxster Spyder there several things you will notice.  The first will be that the seats that you find in a Boxster or any other Porsche are gone and replaced with a recaro racing seat devoid of any padding at all.  It's not so bad though, because despite the hardness it isn't that uncomfortable; even I fit in it, and I'm really fat.

By far the best change is the PDK gearbox.  The actual gears in the Boxster Spyder are the same as in the other PDK cars: the 911, Cayenne, and Cayman.  But, in the Spyder gone are the clumsy and awkward push-it-forward to shift up and pull-it-closer to shift down.  Instead, Porsche has given the Spyder the F1 style paddles that double-clutch gearboxes really deserve.  You notice the difference instantly.  The old PDK system required far too much attention to avoid changing gear in the wrong direction.  The new paddles are instantly intuitive and let you focus all of your attention on driving.  I can't wait until Porsche offers the paddles on all of their cars.

One Word: Plastics

I would really like to talk to a plastics expert about the difference in price between cheap flimsy plastics and higher quality more durable plastics.  I have always thought that one of the main benefits of plastics, all plastics, is that they are cheap.  But, there seems to be an incredible difference between the quality of the plastics of premium cars and economy cars.  My old Audi is a great example.  My old A4 was made in 1996 and when I replaced it after nearly 15 years, the dashboard and center console still looked and felt better than the brand new Ford Focus and Nissan Versa that I rented earlier this year.

To me, the interior of a car will always be more important than the exterior.  When I am outside of my car, only very rarely am I looking at it and when I am driving my car, I can't really see its shape at all.  What I can see - and feel - is the interior.  Indeed, unless I am driving very vigorously, the interior design and quality are difficult to get away from.

That brings me to my point.  To me, the main reason I cannot see myself buying a cheaper car than my BMW or my old Audi isn't the snob value their badges bring, or the performance I feel when driving them, but the relaxation I can enjoy even when sitting in a traffic jam.  The interiors of premium cars are simply better than other cars.

But, why?  BMW and Audis are filled with plastics just like Fords and Nissans and, as I said before, plastics are supposed to be cheap.  How much would adding a better quality interior really push up the price?  BMW now has an option ceramic buttons instead of plastic ones.  This is a great idea.  I would gladly buy the Ford Focus I rented in LA if I could get plastics that don't belong in Somali children's toys.  Capitalism is about choice.  Please, Ford, Honda, and Nissan, give me the option of a better interior.

Wedding Aftermath

My flight back home from the wedding in LA was one of the worst of my life.  I should explain.  It all started back in May when we bought our plane tickets to LA.  Because we were getting a great deal, round trip tickets to LA for less than $200 including all fees and taxes, we didn't pay too much attention to the details.  We were leaving on Thursday and coming back on Sunday: good enough.

At this point, I should say that the wedding was great.The ceremony was held at the chapel at Mount Saint Mary's College, which is where Apple went to college.  MSMC is on top the mountain in Westwood near the Getty Center.  It great views of the city and because it so high up, the breezes keep the area cool during the day.   The reception was in north of LA in the Santa Monica Mountains at the Lobo Castle.

The name of the venue: Lobo Castle is a bit grandiose because it isn't really a castle; there are no walls, no moat and no 15th century plumbing. It is just a large stone house.  So that is what I am going call it: the Lobo House.  Despite the name, the Lobo House is a great place for a wedding reception.  It has space for several bar areas and it is intimate enough to make you feel like you are at someone's house party, not merely a rented room.

And, because it was a good venue and because I was with a bunch of people that I enjoy, my wife and I had a great time.  We took full advantage of the two hour open-bar and we brought a bottle of vodka to split with the cousins.  It was a night to remember, but the following morning was a day to forget.

The flight that we booked left at 7:20am.  If you have never done so, getting up at 5:00am after three and a half hours sleep while painfully hungover is a terrible idea.  I don't want to lower the tone of this post, so I will not describe how my stomach was feeling.  Suffice it to say that at the airport, I found that I had to stare at the floor because watching people walk through the concourse made me feel like the airport was spinning.  Once we got home I collapse and have spent the whole week recovering.

Congratulations to Apple and Jonathan.

The Problem with Libertarians

I am about half way through a the book Predictably Irrational.  In the book, psychologist Dan Ariely summarizes and applies psychological studies which show how the brain consistently makes logical mistakes.  The book is both interesting and informative.  And if I were to summarize it in one sentence it would be: emotions are not logical.  Whenever we are experiencing anger, arousal, or another strong emotion, our brains just don't work as well as we want them to.    

This has always been the problem with libertarianism for me.  Libertarianism is premised on rational choice: individuals using the free market to choose what is best for themselves rather than the government interfering with their options.  The human brain is a marvelous thing, but it is far from perfect.  What we intend to do and what we actually do are frequently too different.  If anyone wants proof, just look to any fat person trying to lose weight or any over-spender struggling to save for retirement.  The fat person knows that if they eat healthier foods in smaller portions, he or she will lose weight.  But, when one is hungry, too often the brain cannot sacrifice short-term  rewards for long-term rewards.  These common problems in human reasoning prevent anyone from achieving their optimum long-term utility.

It is time for everyone to recognize and admit that for society to best succeed, society must sometimes do things we don't like.

Some Thoughts on LA

A Lamborghini dealer in the mall: gotta love LA

Whenever I am in Los Angeles, I always go to the Topanga mall.  While the shops are great, you can find the same stores in lots of different locations.  What really makes me come back is the atmosphere and the architecture.  The Topanga mall has an modern, open and airy feel; just walking around the mall gives me a pleasant feeling.  

I have always found that the sales people and other customers at the Topanga mall are much nicer and down to earth than those at other high-end malls.  To me, everyone at the Beverly Center seems narcissistic and up-themselves; whenever you ask a sales person for help, they act as if they are doing you a favor.  Worse still, at the Beverly Center, you have to pay for parking: ridiculous.  

Sadly, because my wife and I are part of the wedding, a lot of our time this weekend will be taken up in rehearsals, photos, and all the other hoopla that comes along with big weddings.  This may prevent me from doing my favorite thing in Los Angeles: driving the Pacific Coast Highway.  Los Angles has many great driving roads, but PCH is easily my favorite.  Once you get past the traffic in the middle of Malibu, the mountains, the ocean, and the exhilaration is good enough to be your last deathbed memory.  Everyone should take the time to do that drive.  I hope I get one more chance this weekend.

Just got in to Los Angeles for my sister-in-law's wedding; gonna be a big party

Porsche Part II: The Panamera

The second car that I was put into was the Panamera 4S: Porsche's new four-door sedan.  For those of you who have never seen the Pananmera, imagine a 911 that has been cut in half and lengthened in the same way that a Lincoln Towncar is cut in half and lengthened to be turned into a limo.

After stepping out of the Cayenne and into the Panamera I found myself in familiar surroundings.  The Cayenne and Panamera share almost identical interiors.  At first I thought that the seats in the Panamera were too hard and wouldn't be comfortable on long journeys, but after a few minutes and few curves I appreciated the the stability they provide and couldn't notice any discomfort.

The Panamera that I was driving had air-conditioned seats.  Like heated seats, when you only read about the feature, it is easy to imaging that you could do without it and would be happier not having spent the $500 they cost; after all you have gone your whole life with regular seats, how great could seat heating really be?  But as anyone who has actually experienced heated seats will attest to, they are far better than you could ever imagine.  The same experience applies to air-conditioned seats.  Just as nobody today would buy a car without air conditioning, in the future, nobody will buy a car without air conditioned seats. Since driving the Panamera, I have promised myself that I will not buy any car that does not have air conditioned seats.  In the summer, they are a godsend.  

I have always hated going to malls or big-box stores in the summer because I know that by the time I get back to my car the seats will be hot enough to melt boron.  But, no more.  With air conditioned seats we will all be more civilized and drive more safely.  Suffering second degree burns is distracting, especially while driving and if car seats are no longer searing us, then we can focus on the actual business of driving.

One disappointing thing about the Panamera is the steering.  It isn't that the car doesn't handle, like all Porsches it handles brilliantly; it is the feel of the steering.  When driving the 911, Boxster, and Cayman you can feel every detail of the road through the steering wheel and you know, just from the wheel, exactly how much grip the tires have.  The steering on the Panamera, like the Cayenne, is much more numb.  The car will still do everything that you ask of it, but because the steering is much less informative, it doesn't give you the same confidence in the car's abilities.

Overall, the Panamera is a great car.  I can see why Porsche built it.  For all its brilliance, the 911, even with the tiny back seats, just doesn't work as a family car.  But, I don't have children, therefore  I would still pick the 911.

Porsche Driving School Part I

Back in July, I was lucky enough to be invited to a Porsche driving school event.  Now, when they say "driving school event" what they mean is a tent where the marketing department can collect your email address and phone number, but because I knew they would have free drinks and I love cars, I gladly took a day off of work to join in.  At the Porsche event, I was given the keys to the new Cayenne, the Panamera, the 911, and the Boxster spider and told to take them for a few laps around the track. I was put into the Cayenne first.

Even though I don't wish to ever own a car as ugly as the Cayenne, I was eager to try it out.  My wife drives a Honda CRV; that car has never impressed me.  Its seats are too narrow for my shoulders and because the steering wheel cannot be moved closer to me, the only way to comfortably reach the wheel is to position the seat in a place that causes my legs to hurt when traveling anything more than short distances.  It is impossible to change the radio without the fing-longer.  Not to mention the fact that the car feels like it will fall over anytime it goes around a corner.

To my regret, the CRV is the only SUV that I have driven in the past ten years.  That being said, the CRV is clearly not trying to compete with the Cayenne.  Even knowing Porsche's reputation, I was stunned by the Cayenne's capabilities.  It hurts me to say it, but the new Cayenne handles as good as, if not better than my BMW 335i coupe.  For an  SUV, it is superb.  I never would have expected to go around corners in an SUV  the way the Cayenne does.  Even in the rain, the handling and the brakes were amazing.  Driving it is like riding an elephant with cheetah's legs.

If I had to pick a complaint, I guess it isn't the most spacious SUV available, even compared to others of a similar size.  The gearbox, when not in sport mode, can be slow too.  But, these really are minor inconveniences.

As your mom always told you, don't judge a book by its cover.  Beneath its Quazimodo looks, the Cayenne is a great car.  Especially when you consider that the Cayenne is the cheapest car that Porsche makes.  At $46,000, it is less expensive and much better than the Mercedes M class and Audi Q7.  If you have a family and want an SUV that drives properly, you really cannot do better.

People do what they know

When my wife and I moved to the town that we live in, it was like going back in time. Small communities are just not as up to date as large cities. It's everything really: how people dress, how people style their hair, the technology people use.

While some of it is comes down to income, the major factor, I believe, is that people in small towns just aren't exposed to modern society. Sure they can see these things on TV or on the internet, but lifestyles and trends are different when you see them with you own eyes. I had this experience the first time I traveled over seas to Thailand. Everything is much more real and impactful when you are there in person. Without people pushing boundaries and bringing in new ideas, small towns remain stuck in a bygone era.

This was made very clear to me when my wife got a haircut this week. My wife has never been very stylish and has always relied on others to guide her to good fashion and style choices and she expected to do the same for this haircut.

When she got home was surprised to see that my wife had been replaced with Bonnie Tyler. The "salon" worker's last job was evidently in the hair department for an 80's music video. I had never expected to see my wife with feathered hair. Thank god her hair still looks good when it is straightened.

new car

Since I was a kid, my parents have always driven Audis. It started back in the 1980s when Audi's cars gained notoriety for running over their drivers. My parents, always fond of a good deal and never impressed with other people's driving abilities, decided to purchase one when the prices dropped after the bad press.

Ever since then, even as their income has risen, they have always owned at least one Audi. This has always irritated me. By almost every objective measure, the BMW 3-series is better than my parents' Audi A4s. BMWs and Audis cost roughly the same and my parents could easily have afforded the Bimmer. I believe that at this point they keep buying them just because of personal inertia.

I cannot do that. Just going through the motions has always rubbed me the wrong way whether it is major purchases like cars or just what route I take to work. A few months ago, I bought a BMW 335i.

catastrophic success in the job hunt

Right now I am helping my wife prepare for a job interview in Minneapolis. We are both thrilled that she may soon have the opportunity to move to a job that she enjoyed much more than her current position. But, while the job is in Minneapolis, we are not. We live in Iowa. Moving to Minneapolis for a new job would be an easy decision were we not both employed where we live. My wife taking this new job would force us to either live separately or for me to voluntarily become unemployed in a terrible economy.

I don't know what to do. I don't want to live away from my wife, but quiting my job seems idiotic in this economy. I never thought that I would almost hope that we are stuck where we are now.