World's Worst Phone

There are several companies that I don't like for various reasons: bad customer service, unreasonably high prices, defective products.  But, in my mind, worse than all others is LG.  I have to preface this story by stating that everything in it is true; if I were making this up, I would be much less frustrated with where I work now.  

My old phone, the world's worst phone, was an LG.  At first I really liked the phone; it had a qwerty keyboard - this was a couple years ago - and was much easier to type on than my phone before it.  What I later found out was that while the phone may have done many things well, it completely failed to display any symbol when I had a voice-mail.  Most of the time this wasn't a big deal.  Because of caller ID, I could see who had called and guess whether he or she had left a message.  Of course, there were some calls where the caller ID said "unknown," but these were invariably telemarketers who I simply ignored.  

In the spring of 2009, my last year of law school and business school, I was excited for the future.  I had received multiple job offers and was feeling lucky to have employment in such an uncertain economy.  Despite my success in my job search, I was still applying for careers that I thought would be more exciting or highly paid.  One of the places I applied to was the National Clandestine Service division of the CIA.  

At that time, the CIA was undergoing a large recruitment drive at business schools and the University of Iowa was one place they held an event.    At the presentation two people with fake names gave the highlights of what potential new employees would be doing: after training, new agents would do at least a year long tour in a hostile environment before being reassigned to a safer place.  I should explain.  The vast majority of what the CIA does is fairly boring; most of their workers are economists and engineers who rarely leave metropolitan Washington DC.  National Clandestine Service operatives are the actual spies; they are stationed overseas and given a cover job at an embassy or a front-business.  Clandestine Services agents do not have diplomatic cover.  One such agent was Valerie Plame, the CIA agent outed by the Bush Administration, another is Robert Baer, who was the basis for George Clooney's character in Syriana.  This is real James Bond type stuff.  What little boy's dream wasn't to be a secret agent?  Even though my future career as an attorney had a much smaller risk of death or torture, I logged on to the CIA's website and applied without hesitation.  

A couple weeks later my phone rang.  The caller ID said "unknown" so I ignored the called having been conditioned to believe that I was avoiding a telemarketer.  Over the next two weeks this happened three more times.  Over the following two weeks I had not missed any calls from anyone who would have left a voice-mail and as a result had not checked my voices messages for over a month.  Finally, I missed a call from my parents and checked my voice mail.  I had five new messages.  One was from my dad. 

The other four all had the exact same message.  A female voice said, "Mr. Slavik, I am calling about the application that you filled out online.  We would like to speak with you.  Please call 202 -***-**** and ask for Karen."  The message did not say who it was from and did not give "Karen's" last name. 

After hearing the messages I was thrilled and furious.  I was thrilled because I knew 202 was a Washington DC area code and the CIA was the only job that I applied to in that area.  I was angry because it was now several weeks after the messages were left and my damn phone never told me I had a message.  I quickly called the number the message gave.  

I woman picked up the phone and said, "recruiting."  I explained how I had received a message asking me to call the number and ask for Karen.  I was then transfered to a answering machine with a message that did not identify who the machine belonged to.  I gave my name, phone number, and explained why it took me so long to call.

I am not a religious person, but I prayed that "Karen" would call back.  She never did.  Now I can only curse LG and wonder at what might have been. 

Question for Creationists

If the earth is only 7000 years old, why can we see the light from stars that are millions of light-years away?

California Pot Initiative

I read today that beer brewers and distributers are going to start spending money in the California voter initiative to legalize marijuana and I wonder how long it will be until Pharmaceutical makers start spending too.  I think that this is something that all people who are completely dead set against marijuana legalization should think about.  The beer makers aren't against legalized pot because they buy into the gateway drug scare tactics, they are against legalization because they know that pot is a substitute for alcohol; they know that pot plays the same role in society with the same benefits and the same drawbacks as alcohol.  

Just like alcohol, if you abuse pot, you will suffer a lot negative consequences.  But if you use either in appropriate doses rarely will anything bad happen.  Human beings have a need to escape: we do it with drugs, we do it with alcohol, we do it with food, we do it with shopping.  Even if all the drugs in the world disappeared, people would still spin around in circles until they fell down dizzy.  It is high time that the US government and the American people look at drugs rationally and let the facts determine what is and isn't a threat.

Porsche Part III

By far the best car that I drove at the Porsche event was the new special edition Boxster Spyder.  Essentially, it is a lighter harder version of the traditional Boxster S.  When you first get into the Boxster Spyder there several things you will notice.  The first will be that the seats that you find in a Boxster or any other Porsche are gone and replaced with a recaro racing seat devoid of any padding at all.  It's not so bad though, because despite the hardness it isn't that uncomfortable; even I fit in it, and I'm really fat.

By far the best change is the PDK gearbox.  The actual gears in the Boxster Spyder are the same as in the other PDK cars: the 911, Cayenne, and Cayman.  But, in the Spyder gone are the clumsy and awkward push-it-forward to shift up and pull-it-closer to shift down.  Instead, Porsche has given the Spyder the F1 style paddles that double-clutch gearboxes really deserve.  You notice the difference instantly.  The old PDK system required far too much attention to avoid changing gear in the wrong direction.  The new paddles are instantly intuitive and let you focus all of your attention on driving.  I can't wait until Porsche offers the paddles on all of their cars.

One Word: Plastics

I would really like to talk to a plastics expert about the difference in price between cheap flimsy plastics and higher quality more durable plastics.  I have always thought that one of the main benefits of plastics, all plastics, is that they are cheap.  But, there seems to be an incredible difference between the quality of the plastics of premium cars and economy cars.  My old Audi is a great example.  My old A4 was made in 1996 and when I replaced it after nearly 15 years, the dashboard and center console still looked and felt better than the brand new Ford Focus and Nissan Versa that I rented earlier this year.

To me, the interior of a car will always be more important than the exterior.  When I am outside of my car, only very rarely am I looking at it and when I am driving my car, I can't really see its shape at all.  What I can see - and feel - is the interior.  Indeed, unless I am driving very vigorously, the interior design and quality are difficult to get away from.

That brings me to my point.  To me, the main reason I cannot see myself buying a cheaper car than my BMW or my old Audi isn't the snob value their badges bring, or the performance I feel when driving them, but the relaxation I can enjoy even when sitting in a traffic jam.  The interiors of premium cars are simply better than other cars.

But, why?  BMW and Audis are filled with plastics just like Fords and Nissans and, as I said before, plastics are supposed to be cheap.  How much would adding a better quality interior really push up the price?  BMW now has an option ceramic buttons instead of plastic ones.  This is a great idea.  I would gladly buy the Ford Focus I rented in LA if I could get plastics that don't belong in Somali children's toys.  Capitalism is about choice.  Please, Ford, Honda, and Nissan, give me the option of a better interior.

Wedding Aftermath

My flight back home from the wedding in LA was one of the worst of my life.  I should explain.  It all started back in May when we bought our plane tickets to LA.  Because we were getting a great deal, round trip tickets to LA for less than $200 including all fees and taxes, we didn't pay too much attention to the details.  We were leaving on Thursday and coming back on Sunday: good enough.

At this point, I should say that the wedding was great.The ceremony was held at the chapel at Mount Saint Mary's College, which is where Apple went to college.  MSMC is on top the mountain in Westwood near the Getty Center.  It great views of the city and because it so high up, the breezes keep the area cool during the day.   The reception was in north of LA in the Santa Monica Mountains at the Lobo Castle.

The name of the venue: Lobo Castle is a bit grandiose because it isn't really a castle; there are no walls, no moat and no 15th century plumbing. It is just a large stone house.  So that is what I am going call it: the Lobo House.  Despite the name, the Lobo House is a great place for a wedding reception.  It has space for several bar areas and it is intimate enough to make you feel like you are at someone's house party, not merely a rented room.

And, because it was a good venue and because I was with a bunch of people that I enjoy, my wife and I had a great time.  We took full advantage of the two hour open-bar and we brought a bottle of vodka to split with the cousins.  It was a night to remember, but the following morning was a day to forget.

The flight that we booked left at 7:20am.  If you have never done so, getting up at 5:00am after three and a half hours sleep while painfully hungover is a terrible idea.  I don't want to lower the tone of this post, so I will not describe how my stomach was feeling.  Suffice it to say that at the airport, I found that I had to stare at the floor because watching people walk through the concourse made me feel like the airport was spinning.  Once we got home I collapse and have spent the whole week recovering.

Congratulations to Apple and Jonathan.

The Problem with Libertarians

I am about half way through a the book Predictably Irrational.  In the book, psychologist Dan Ariely summarizes and applies psychological studies which show how the brain consistently makes logical mistakes.  The book is both interesting and informative.  And if I were to summarize it in one sentence it would be: emotions are not logical.  Whenever we are experiencing anger, arousal, or another strong emotion, our brains just don't work as well as we want them to.    

This has always been the problem with libertarianism for me.  Libertarianism is premised on rational choice: individuals using the free market to choose what is best for themselves rather than the government interfering with their options.  The human brain is a marvelous thing, but it is far from perfect.  What we intend to do and what we actually do are frequently too different.  If anyone wants proof, just look to any fat person trying to lose weight or any over-spender struggling to save for retirement.  The fat person knows that if they eat healthier foods in smaller portions, he or she will lose weight.  But, when one is hungry, too often the brain cannot sacrifice short-term  rewards for long-term rewards.  These common problems in human reasoning prevent anyone from achieving their optimum long-term utility.

It is time for everyone to recognize and admit that for society to best succeed, society must sometimes do things we don't like.